Deck the Halls With Desperate Divas

The Real Housewives of the North Pole

Every year, theatergoers familiar with the work of Hell in a Handbag’s multitalented Artistic Director, David Cerda, anxiously anticipate his holiday productions. It may be either a revisit to one of their happy holiday classics, or an exciting, brand new production. This year, in celebration of the company’s 24th season, Mr. Cerda has created another original and campy Christmas confection. And this fresh and hilarious holiday production is as au courant and astonishing as it is gaudy and goofy.

Cleverly inspired by the popular reality TV franchise, Handbag’s latest Christmas parody spoofs the many installments of “The Real Housewives” series. Like the television shows that this two-act play mimics, storylines take a backseat to the show’s brash, buoyantly bizarre characters. And Mr. Cerda’s latest play is a stocking stuffed with all kinds of holiday fruitcakes—all ready to deck the halls with desperate divas.

Bigger than life, David Cerda once again leads his talented cast as the outrageous Gladys Dasher, reindeer spouse of Santa’s second-in-command, Dasher. But a widespread scandal at the North Pole has implicated, indicted and imprisoned Dasher, Rudolph, Frosty the Snowman—and even more shocking—none  other than Santa Claus himself! So Gladys, and her North Pole pals, have turned lemons into lemonade and become reality television stars. Gladys has also made a career in the music video industry, singing such sultry hits as “Snow.”

Joining Gladys Dasher, thanks to the selfish manipulation of smarmy TV host and conniving Bravo Network producer, Andy Cohen (portrayed with gregarious glee by handsome David Lipschutz), are a company of delightfully delicious divas. Played by the incomparable Honey West, one of Chicago’s best-loved and most talented actor/singer/comedians, Ruth Claus is the very heartbeat of this show. We come to care about her, although Ruth sometimes shows her feisty side when confronted with pressure. Ruth’s a brave, recovering alcoholic, who’s had to cope with Santa’s secret scandal, as well as with dozens of delinquent elves. But she’s fortunate to have the care and support of her elfin Life Coach, Carlos (played with relish by Taylor Mercado Owen). But Andy Cohen has seduced Ruth into becoming the newest cast member of THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF THE NORTH POLE.

The third Real Housewife is Samantha Snowman, Frosty’s preposterously pious partner. This Dazzling diva, overflowing with a righteous attitude and religious zeal, is beautifully portrayed by talented Handbag regular, Robert Williams. In her hubby’s absence, Samantha has taken over Frosty’s Magic Hat enterprise, while spreading the Gospel wherever she goes. But most of the rivalry and bitchiness of the show develops between Gladys Dasher and the two younger Housewives. They include the excellent Britain Shutters as slutty Suzy Snowflake (remembered as Bessica Feltcher in MURDER REWROTE). This talented diva sings, dances and also designs Adult Party Diapers. And making her Handbag debut is Anna Rose Steinmeyer, playing Rudolph’s estranged young wife, Clarice. She’s the real nasty in this cast, a young Gen Z woman who’s totally obsessed with fashion, Instagram and glamor. But she spends most of her energy antagonizing the older cast members, in particular Gladys Dasher. These two hostile Housewives keep the play moving with their glaring glances and brash and blistering banter.

Terry McCarthy is another familiar face at Hell in a Handbag, delightfully playing the TV show’s makeup artist, Cookie. He also appears as the mysterious Man in Black. And newcomer Kelly Opalko gives a standout performance as Petra, Andy Cohen’s poor, put-upon Production Assistant who eventually blossoms like a Christmas cactus. Hopefully we’ll be seeing Kelly in many future productions.

 And, thanks to the technical artistry and Video Production contributed by Peter Neville/Image Control Unit, with additional Video Production by Connor Wiles, audiences will enjoy news casts, zoom calls and character testimonials on a pair of television screens. They’re suspended high over the audience so theatergoers can easily watch every televised moment. Guest actors on the TV screen include Handbag regulars Michael Hampton as Santa, Doug Vickers as the Judge, Abbas Salem as a Reporter, the lovely Danne W. Taylor as Madame Z., with random appearances by Ed Jones, Caitlin Jackson and Tyler Anthony Smith.

Some fine, intimate staging and character guidance is provided by talented Director Tommy Bullington, ably assisted by Ryan Kenney. Brigitte Ditmars adds her creative touch with some spirited Club Choreography. But the truly stunning visual element of this production comes courtesy of Designer Marquecia Jordan for her glitzy and gorgeous Costumes, enhanced by Keith Ryan’s wild Wig Design and Syd Genco’s always magnificent Makeup Design.

Truthfully billed as a production that’s far “More Naughty Than Nice,” THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF THE NORTH POLE is sure to become an annual Hell in a Handbag hit. Creatively modeled after “The Real Housewives of Orange County,” as well as the other nine installments of this reality television franchise, David Cerda has done it again! Sure to be of particular interest to the LGBTQ+ audience, Mr. Cerda’s play is a fresh and flashy new Christmas confection that’s a twisted, twinkling, tinsel-teased treat for liberal adults. As the lights dim, get ready to laugh as Hell in a Handbag Decks the Halls with these Desperate Divas.         

Highly Recommended

Reviewed by Colin Douglas

Presented November 20-January 4 by Hell in a Handbag Productions at The Clutch, 4335 N. Western Avenue, Chicago.

Tickets are available at the door, at handbagproductions.org or buytickets.at/hellinahandbagproductions/1618086.

Additional information about this and other other area productions can be found by visiting www.theatreinchicago.com.